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Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
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11:41 pm - so cute...
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| Thursday, July 12th, 2007
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1:14 pm - well, my average is looking up, anyway
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so this is a bit less than my goal of three times a week, but i suppose it's better than two years :)
we've been pretty busy these past two weeks. a couple of months ago, Ivy and i took a cake decorating class. i spent a lot of money on cake tools, but we both had a lot of fun making (and eating) cake. needless to say, i've been looking for any opportunity to make a cake (and trust me, there are a lot of cake-worthy occasions!), so i hosted a birthday party for one of my friends. for pictures of cake, go here.
i'm not really a flower person (especially the kind you have to plant every single year) but my mom is, so she kept trying different things to get me to plant some. she finally found a way when she oh-so-coyly said that Malachi and Sage would love it. and of course they did!
more picture goodness...
so i also hosted my small group and the older kids' maternal grandfather and step-grandmother visited for a couple of days. both of those were very fun. and of course, i took pictures of my babies...
every time i download my camera (which is about every two weeks), i download about 350 photos. is that crazy?!
yes, stephanie. that's crazy.
i know.
(i can't help myself!)
current mood:  awake
current music: baby Einstein (baby Noah) in the background
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
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11:49 pm - two years, two days
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| Saturday, June 25th, 2005
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11:20 am - .ps ???.
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everytime i open my journal my filter pops up and says something has been blocked.. whattheheck? will someone tell me what pop ups, if any, you get when you go to my lj page?
current mood:  confused
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10:13 am - .exhausted is a four letter word.
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well this last week has been CRAZY, which is why the posting has been on hiatus. the bright spot is that i got to see my sister-in-law(Joanna)'s babies! she works at the neonatal intensive care unit (NIC-U) at miami valley and last thursday i got to visit. you wouldn't believe how tiny the babies are there! their heads are only as big as your fist and they have tiny tiny arms and legs and hands and feet but they still do everything that full term babies do! wiggling around and waving their arms and legs, sucking their thumbs or fists. it's absolutely amazing. Joanna says they can save babies as early as 24 weeks (full term is 40 weeks) and usually, if the baby looks healthy, they try to save it at 23 weeks. they always err of the side of the baby. medicine is making leaps and bounds in this area, even close to developing an artificial womb that some say will, in as little as a few years, carry a baby to full term. !!!
but in more depressing news, Joanna has been staying with us for the past week. she's married to an absolute loser (i'm being objective with that word) who for the past 12 years of marriage has on countless occasions been addicted to drugs, alcohol and/or pain meds, has stolen money (sometimes hundreds of dollars at a time) from not only her but her friends and family, has a habit of pathological lying, and doesn't hold a job. so for a lot of the past 12 years she has been sole wage-earner, single parent, and victim of theft all the fault of a person who promised to love and cherish her. she's started divorce proceedings on other occasions when he was in one of his really bad periods of behavior, but always stopped them. the last straw (not the straws earlier that week when he stole two blank checks from her and on another day pawned her favorite ring without her knowledge) came on father's day when Joanna laid down for a nap and was woken up by her eight year old daughter sobbing because she couldn't find her two year old brother. apparently Mike left her in charge while he went 'to go meet someone' he told his daughter (which he denied saying and made up some elaborate story FULL of holes). apparently her two year old (Jeremiah) had tried to follow his dad out the door twice and Serenity (8 year old) brought him back. well, a third time she lost track of him (that's what happens when you leave an EIGHT year old in charge) and panicked. so she and Joanna went to look for him and finally found him, thank God, a block over being brought home by an angel in disguise. and he kept saying, 'i've got to find my daddy, where did he go?' (he's very precocious). so this was the last straw (she has LOADS more mercy than i have. you know if it was me he would have been dead 10 years ago). and of course all of this happens the week she's supposed to be moving into our old house. so we've been moving her this week and she's been working 3-11 almost every night (which means i have to put THREE babies to bed ACK) and we've been trying to get Mike out of her old house so that we can move my sister in. because you see, on top of being all of those things above, he's cripplingly co-dependent. so basically, he won't leave. he won't leave until she actually gets a restraining order against him. ::sigh:: so the moral of this story is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be careful who you marry!! Joanna had absolutely no clue how much pain she would be putting herself and, more excruciatingly, her children through when she married him. he kind of bullied her into marrying him and then she thought she could "fix" him and it all went downhill from there. i wonder how many times she's wished she hadn't married him? wished she'd listened to her parents and friends? a million? several million? if you can't live with them like they are now, don't marry them!
::whew:: so that's my diatribe and that's been my week. very, um, stressful and very exhausting. the only reason i'm able to post this right now is that my wonderful husband was a bit optimistic about getting a truck the morning of moving day, on a saturday, so we can't get a truck until three. but after today Joanna and my sister should be mostly moved and i'll finally be able to take a deep breath and get back on schedule (which i haven't been too bad at, i just haven't had much time to devote to journaling). so now i get to (yay!) go read what's been up with everyone else this week. toodle loo! (or however you spell those british farewells).
so i just spell checked this entry and apparently wouldn't couldn't and doesn't are NOT in the dictionary, but toodle is.... now i'm curious, but i can't find toodle at dictionary.com. crazy.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: the numbed buzz of my brain
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| Thursday, June 16th, 2005
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1:09 am - .my five minutes.
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today was a *very* productive day! me so happy! i signed Josiah up for soccer, which is something he really wanted to do last year, but we never got around to it. i think he's really going to enjoy it. score one point for mom! after that i did some laundry in my MESS of a laundry room. then i went with my sister to her grand jury hearing thingy, which was very short and sweet. this is like her fourth time testifying against the MORON who robbed her at gunpoint about six months ago. he's 15 and cocky as hell. if you're 16 and commit a crime involving a gun, you're automatically tried as an adult; since he was 15 he had to go through three hearings in juvenile court before a grand jury in adult court.. and that's not the end of it. there will most likely be another hearing and then a trial. my tax dollars at work.
on a happier note, i came home and did an assload of laundry and then cleaned my laundry room :). it looks so wonderfully clean! part of this new wave of discipline that's overtaken me :P. hopefully it will stay clean. it's so much easier to do laundry in a clean room.
Malachi is so cute; he's learning so many new words! he adds a couple almost every day. he now says 'tank oo' on a regular basis and that was without coaching! he just said it out of the blue one day and of course i flipped so he REALLY enjoys saying it now lol. today he came into my room while i was working on Josiah's registration and he said 'hi!' like he usually does but then he said very distinctly, 'wat're oo doin?' i just stared at him with my jaw on the floor and then pulled myself together and tried to give him a good answer to his question--it was SO CUTE!!!!
anyway, i'm looking forward to another wonderful day tomorrow, if God wills it :P
current mood: awake
current music: yellowcard - breathing (is stuck in my head)
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| Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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12:00 am - .yay for pictures!.
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| Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
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1:03 am - .well this is awkward....
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hmm... nothing life-changing has happened, and yet, i'm posting. mayhaps i will bring something upon myself that is best left alone but ::shrug::. today was a very good day :) i ate all of my servings of fruits and vegetables. now this may not seem like a very big deal to you, but with six kids, even getting the chance to eat is pretty incredible. and mostly, eating vegetables just takes discipline, which i don't have a lot of. so i made myself a list. just like the lists i have for my kids. and wouldn't you know that one of the last things on my before-i-go-to-bed list is to journal for 5 minutes (baby steps). i'm going to trust my dear friend Cara who said that my friends care about my daily nothings as much as i care about theirs and try to mark that one off my list at least a few times a week. we'll see how long my discipline lasts.
my mother-in-law is visiting and i'm not sure when she's leaving. not that i don't like her, but what is it about in-laws? is it just my culture telling me that she drives me crazy sometimes?? the world may never know the answer to these burning questions...
i saw Mr & Mrs Smith sunday and it was awesome!! well, as long as you go into it in an action-movie frame of mind. i was going to boycott due to their recent shameful behavior but, well, refer to aforementioned discipline issues. :P
hah! i just remembered that something momentous *did* happen today (technically yesterday)! Sage is three months old :) happy birthday, Baby! i think i'll get some free web space somewhere so i can post the million pictures i have of her and Malachi.
current mood:  accomplished
current music: .the rather loud hum of my laptop.
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| Sunday, December 5th, 2004
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12:25 am - .my dad died today.
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well, at this point, i guess that would be yesterday. it's been exhausting. it happened the best way that it could have under the circumstances and we knew that it was coming so there was time to prepare. the last night he lived he got to see most of the family and friends that he would have wanted to and he was very coherent, which was all God's grace. pray for my mom if you get a chance b/c this is really hard for her. and for the love of all that's holy, if you know someone who's doing drugs or a lot of drinking give them a kick upside the head and then send them to me so i can describe to them what it's like to die of kidney and liver failure. it's not pretty and it's not fast.
current mood: exhausted
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| Thursday, November 11th, 2004
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7:37 pm - .it's a girl!.
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hi all! i don't have a lot of time to post and i'll have to catch up on everyone's lives this weekend, but i wanted to let everyone know i haven't died. poor Teri, she's sent me so much good mail and i haven't even let her know i LOVE it :D (i LOVE it, Teri!). my dad is in the hospital; he almost died again, but it looks like he actually may be on the upswing. not only is it a bad incident, it's also bad timing cause my parents are moving this week. so there's been a lot of stress and a lot of responsibility has kind of fallen on me, hence the non-posting. a bright spot is that i found out i'm having a girl :D. i don't think i'm ready for this...
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| Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
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1:02 am
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this is a response to a post a friend of mine made in response to my .Kerry is an ass. post. i'm sorry i revertd to name-calling. that was immature of me. but this is what i believe.
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i'm sorry for offending you, Tim. i'll change the title of the link. but did you check out the documentary? all it is is newsclips of Kerry (it's Kerry himself talking in 95% of these clips) and his many different positions over time on the war. most recently he's been against Bush's handling of the war... but to one group he promises to send more troops. to another group he promises to bring the troops home. does he really have a position other than "Bush is doing a bad job and i'm going to do a better job?" if he says something i agree with, how do i know he's going to do that, and not the other thing he promised he was going to do that i disagree with?
i'm not a single issue voter, and i think it's belittling of you to suggest that my reasons (or every other repblican's) for holding my positions are less well-considered or less dearly held than yours. but if i were a single-issue voter, is abortion a bad choice? if someone is not willing to pass laws to protect the most vulnerable members of society when there are special interest groups pouring money into their pockets, how can they be expected to protect any of our civil, religious, or human rights?
you say Kerry disagrees with abortion, but he understands that his own personal beliefs shouldn't decide what's best for the people of America. so instead he thinks that the personal beliefs of the big-money abortion providers are a good basis for deciding what's best for the country? how is that better?
this is the issue: is an unborn human child deserving of any legal protection under the law or not? Kerry says, "i believe the unborn child is a human being, but because other people in the country disagree (and despite what the general media would have you believe, this country is split in this issue nearly 50/50) and it would inconvenience them if the child were granted legal protection, i will make sure that no law is passed that provides any shred of legal protection to the unborn child whatsoever." this is very similar to a president during the reconstruction era saying, "i believe that African Americans are fully human and deserve to be treated with the same respect accorded every human being; however, because there are some in the KKK who would be inconvenienced if blacks were afforded any legal protection in law, i will block any legislation that attempts to provide them with any legal protection. i don't want my personal beliefs about the matter to interfere with the rights of the KKK (or anyone else who feels like it) to kill blacks."
and please understand: Kerry's position on abortion is extreme. he voted six times against the partial birth abortion ban. he voted against legislation that would provide women seeking abortion with any information about the procedure or possible risks associated with the procedure. he voted against making it illegal to transport a minor child across state lines to obtain an abortion without the parents' consent (note: most minors who receive abortions are being pushed into them by the abusive older man in the relationship who doesn't want anyone to know what he's doing.) Kerry voted against a law that would provide legal protection to an unborn child harmed or killed in the commission of a crime against the child's mother (because he wouldn't want to provide legal recognition even of the loved and wanted child's humanity even in that extreme of a situation.) Kerry has promised that one of his first acts in office will be to renew the practise of providing US government funding to international organizations that promote abortion worldwide. he's a friggin poster-child for the pro-abortion position. if he believes unborn life is precious, he's made sure no one can mistake that he is in full denial of that belief.
besides that, if Kerry really doesn't trust his own personal beliefs enough to govern from them (instead he wants to govern based on someone else's personal beliefs) then why should we elect him? i would give more respect to someone who just comes out and says, "i will do everything in my power to keep partial-birth abortion legal because, guess what, i believe in it. i think it's important for our society to deny the humanity of the unborn, and i think any unwanted child we can kill before it's fully delivered is just one less mouth to feed, and one fewer potential criminal on the streets." at least you'd know where someone like that stood, and you'd know that they were acting out of their own deeply held beliefs. instead we have Kerry, who says, "i will do everything in my power to keep partial birth abortion legal, because even though i personally believe that killing innocent children in an extremely painful, inhumane, brutal, medically unnecessary way is immoral, the abortion providers who are endorsing me and financing my campaign need the business." i call that weak. i don't need nor want a weak leader.
i care deeply about you, Tim, and i think you're a great guy. i would take to the streets and march on your behalf if anyone tried to deny your humanity or make it legal to commit violent acts against you just because of who you are. can you understand that i *can't* vote for a man who voted against a law that would label it assault or murder if someone harmed or killed the child i'm carrying in the process of attacking me? i love you. and i also care about this issue... a lot.
i believe in women's rights. i'm in favor of legislation that would prevent a pregnant woman from being discriminated against at work or at school; that would provide support for a woman who gets pregnant so she doesn't have to drop out of college; that requires the father to establish paternity and provide child-support; that makes adoption a better option for everyone involved. i'm in favor of doing everything possible to support and affirm women in our society who become pregnant, because women deserve better and i am pro-woman. has turning access to abortion into a right really helped women? *no* statistic suggests that it has. when has society ever benefitted from giving some members the right to commit violence against other members?
women deserve better. abortion is a horrible solution to the frightening and life-changing problem of an unwanted pregnancy. it is a solution that was foisted on the feminist movement in the 1960s by men who didn't mind women entering the professional workforce ... as long as those women would eviscerate their womanhood. as long as those women could promise their employers that no unwanted pregnancy would interfere with their work schedule. it's a horrible solution that was foisted on minority communities by eugenicists who wanted to purify the race by cutting down on the number of minority births. it's a horrible solution that was foisted on the poor in our country by people who don't want to pay for welfare. it was supposed to make women freer and happier; it was supposed to reduce child abuse and neglect; it was supposed to reduce the number of people living in poverty. and just maybe it was supposed to cut down on the number of little African American babies being born (although abortionists only whisper that last point.) has it really done any of those things? abortion doesn't make women happy. if you tell a man that you have to cut his leg off to save his life, he'll let you do it, but he won't be happy about it. a lot of women view abortion that way: an awful thing, but something they have to go through in order to survive. isn't it time we offered better solutions? abortion hasn't reduced poverty. child abuse is substantially up since abortion has been legalized. abortion has greatly impacted the demographics of the African American community (Hispanics have passed up African Americans as the largest minority group in America--because we actually abort more of our children than we bear) ... am i supposed to see that as a plus? it isn't. women deserve better.
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| Thursday, October 21st, 2004
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1:41 am - .Kerry is a weak man.
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1:35 am - .my sister *is* pretty sexy.
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| Sunday, October 17th, 2004
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2:32 am - howdy ya'll!
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yeah i start out every post with, 'it's been awhile...' which is technically true, but we'll skip over it anyway. i got a new lap top!! which is the occasion for this post as my wireless connection to this comp works *perfectly,* unlike some products ::MICROSOFT:: we know. so, like all of these kinds of changes do, i'm prompted to think of communication and how bad i am at the sport and begin with a vow to do better. hopefully, this one won't wear off with the newness of my computer.
mostly when i think of posting i think, 'what the hell do i do that's all that interesting to everybody??' and Tim always says, 'they're your *friends,* of course they're interested!' to this i usually roll my eyes. but then i started thinking about how much i love to read my friends page and i thought (not for the first time), 'my husband may be on to something. now if i could only figure out what it was....' ::grin:: so it is ultimately the fault of my husband and his good faith that i am posting here once again--with nothing to say :). well, maybe i'll have something to say tomorrow. when it's not 3 in the morning.
current mood: energetically exhausted
current music: that beautiful hum of the pc fan
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| Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
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5:23 pm - .Jim of the jungle.
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saturday i visited jungle Jim's, this HUGE ethnic food store near cincinnati. they have food from all over the world. it was amazing. every saturday is sample day, so i tried all of the things that actually looked like food (which didn't include the cheddar cheese larvae from england). i was very tired after that day, but felt very enlightened and sophisticated :).
Tim's been in alabama for work, but he's coming back tonight. i don't like when he has to travel, but i like that i get to go places for free--like las vegas next week :). Tim said it's an amazing sight that you have to see to believe. i'll tell you all about it...
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| Friday, February 27th, 2004
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10:51 pm - .been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time.
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this past weekend Cara, John and Teri were in town. it was so wonderful! if only HollyMeg could have come as she'd planned. Cara and John were still here wednesday, so we went to see the 'Passion' movie. unfortunately, all i got to see were the previews b/c my darling son decided he wasn't going to go to sleep. ::sigh:: oh well, i hope to see it sunday.
well, as i look over my last few posts, i see the trend is to post when something life-altering occurs. as it is, today i just bought wood to build a bookshelf and decided that i'd post, damnit. that decision was also influenced by the fact that Cara was here and she's a journal junkie. a lot can happen in a year :). hopefully, this posting thing will become a habit. broadband will help me..
keepin it short so i'll be more inclined to post later...
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| Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
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11:51 am - .whoa! i didn't see that one coming.
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I am the  Which smiley are you?
heheh, well folks, there you have it. who would have seen it coming??
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| Friday, January 17th, 2003
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10:47 am - .doo wop.
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hi hi hi everybody! well, ok, at least the two people who i know are going to read this :P i love you guys! believe it or not, i would have started posting a week ago, but the lj system was down. it seems to me that was deliberate... :)
so i'm married now, which has been the reason for my long hiatus. there's lots of stuff that goes into raising four kids and a husband, i tell you what. i feel much like a different person now, maybe because there are things you just can't do around kids. you have to act like a grown up 24/7. but i guess in a lot of other ways i haven't really changed--you know how impossible it is for me to act mature all the time ;). now that i'm a parent i really wonder what my parents were like before they had kids. talk about a mind trip! holy!
we just bought a hunter green 98 dodge caravan sport (which looks remarkably like Teri's parents' van) and got a good deal on it. the people we bought it from are rich and anal so it was decked out with lots of cool features (including the long-coveted in-dash cd player) and was very very clean..and by my future grave it WILL stay clean! even if i have to be anal! driving a van makes me feel like a soccer mom :P
Rosie's working on science fair *and* has pms so that's been interesting and scary..
the other news is that i'm pregnant :) i hate it, but they say it'll all be worth it when i see my baby's face. i guess i can buy that, but we'll see. but i can tell you i'm damn tired of being sick and tired all the time!
oh well. i guess i'll post again when i have something else to say.
ps. i really do love married life :)
current mood: drained
current music: living sacrifice - bloodwork
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| Monday, March 25th, 2002
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12:04 am - .and wuv, troo wuv, will fowow woo, fowever.
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i am getting married! :D weird, no?? but true! all true! i am having trouble being my normal melancholy self--trust me, i've tried. i throw my hands up in helpless joy and evil optimism. the last couple of months have been flurries of changes. i moved out of my apartment and in with a friend. she goes to bed at midnight so i've actually been getting sleep. Teri was here last week for her spring break; she was here interviewing for my position and hanging out. Andrea came with her to interview for Amber's old position in the med ethics dept. Cara was in Japan (yes! Japan!) this last week with her soccer team. it was a happenin' time so i hear. really awesome pictures! here's my favorite one of her. isn't she frickin cute!?? i think so.
and speaking of cute (you didn't *really* think you'd get away, did you?), my fiance (ha! i can say that! ha!) is the most wonderful man on earth! yeah, yeah, i know you were expecting me to say that, but i'm for serious! the date so far is set for june 8. don't even ask me about plans cause i'm a procrastinator to the end. it's part of my perceiving nature. once i get home (for good march 31) my mom'll beat me into submission so something will get done. she's making my dress (joy!) so it won't be one of those nasty fancy-cake ones they sell these days (my mother forbid black as an option. ::sigh:: everybody's gonna have a heart attack when they see me in another color besides, let alone WHITE). by then i'll hopefully have my website up and running so you'll be able to see pictures of my honey and wedded bliss.
i've spent a bit of time thinking about it and i really am not one of those people that think who you are has to change once you formally cross over into the adult world and Get Married. i don't anticipate that i will start wearing color or dangly gold earrings. my music tastes will only grow, not change. i won't cease to be fascinated by the macabre. i'll still use the word cool. Tim fell in love with me as i am, so i think i'm safe.
"a man must consider what a rich realm he abdicates when he becomes a conformist." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
and it wouldn't do to change drastically now, anyway. i want his four kids to think of me as not so removed from teenagehood that i can't understand. oh i can't wait! i love them all. Rosie is 12. she is so creative! and so sweet. and she reminds me of me in how she relates to people and her dad. Josiah is 11. he's very smart and fun! he likes to fancy he can beat me at unreal tournament, so i let him continue to believe that ;). eh, the truth is that he probably can :). Justice is 10. he's the weirdest one in the bunch so of course he's special to me :). he's a talented cartoonist already and just a charming guy. he likes watching unreal tournament a lot--guy after my own heart! Ivy is 8. she's such a little ham! she's always making everyone laugh. she's the youngest, but she's the most independant. she also tends towards the gothic already! my soulmate! ;).. and Tim. wow. Tim is my Engineer. for now and forever. i wish i could even try to put into words the way this kind man makes me feel.. but i fear that is impossible. i am happy. for the first time in my life, i am truly happy. how bizarre is this!?
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
current mood:  bouncy
current music: pixies - where is my mind
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| Tuesday, January 8th, 2002
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4:31 am - .so much to say, so much to say.
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well, hi again :D ..i'll keep this one short and sweet and update gradually. this is basically to tell you that i'm back and posting and i tell you what, a shitload of stuff has happened to me in the meantime! most important development and joyous occasion is (isn't it always?) a new relationship :) ..if you'll direct your attention to my post two sections below, you'll note that Tim would make the perfect husband. the tails side of this coin was that we weren't attracted to each other. ::grin:: a lot can happen in a month and as of today i am hopelessly in love.. i know i know, mushy :) soon i'll start wrapping up my posts with <3 <3 and ---\---@ and other silly nonsense.. ::grin:: worry for nothing, i'm only mushy sometimes so your suffering shall be minimal :)
soon to post again. keep channels open for transmission.
current mood:  ecstatic
current music: dido - thank you (yeah, yeah.. mushy :p)
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veinbreaker's journal
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